miss my childhood...

potpourri of dreams (a collection of poems)

I’ll cry your tears

I know your tears, I’ve cried those before

The pain of holding back is killing you

You’re eyes tells everything, you don’t need to shout it

Hide it if you must but I can’t let it

I must let it flow gently on my cheeks

I want to cry it out until there’s nothing anymore

I’ll cry your tears, if that’s the only way

Rhapsody of an insane heart

Your eyes are mysteries

that I cannot unravel

Too sweet; too futile—so much wrong

It is a secret that could not hurt me

even if I know none of it

Too passionate; too despising

Because you are more of an illusion

than a lovely icon

Too painful; too poignant

Stealing what I lost empty-handedly

Then after it nothing shall remain

not the memories of your eyes

nor its fading images

Too loud; too blurred

Bewitching eyes, free me from your charms

that imprisoned my senses

all these lost nows and futures and pasts

Live not in me but in my heart

Desperate’s Hand

A poem without a rhyme,

A love without a face

Will it be that your are a fantasy

Woven from the tears of my miseries

When can I find my way out of this maze?

I’ll wait forever to know what love is

Then I’ll create a scene, someone like you

His will be the hands I’ll forever hold

An eye that will have a familiar hue

Will it be the same looking in your eyes?

And catching a falling star in my palms?

Or hearing your voice behind these lies?

Wishful thinkings are but dreams and lonesome

In Memory Lane

Sometimes there are words left unsaid

And feelings left unshown

But how can it be that the words

Are not there and the feelings just fade away

Whispers in the past blown away

Emotions lingered and able hearts were torn

Love had and love lost

Are all in memory lane

A Dream of Him

I saw him at the end of the crowd

Or was it just my imagination

For the night has been dark and cold

And so was his reflection

He was smiling with his glistening eyes

But that smile can never be mine

All I have is a dream of him

Inside my lonesome mind

The chilling breeze is hugging me

Feeling my endless warmth

How I wish it was his embrace

And not this emptiness that comes

All I need is a dream of him

Just one night, just one dream

For in that dream he is real

And I could fade away with that dream

I’ll Cry Your Tears

I know your tears, I cried those before

The pain of holding back is killing you

Your eyes tells everything, you don’t need to shout it

Hide it if you must but I can’t let it

I must let it flow gently on my cheeks

I want to cry it out until there’s nothing anymore

I’ll cry your tears, if that’s the only way

Let Me Dream

Let me dream of the velvet sky in the horizon

Seeing your face in the purple clouds

Let me dream of the stars in your eyes that shine above

Shimmering crystals beneath the faint blue moon

Let me dream of the love that grows amazingly

Upon the silvery golden reflection of the sea

Let me dream of the sweet surprise created magically

And set my panoramic feeling free

Let me dream of the thousand things that kind

That lures the mighty vagabonds of the ocean’s lies

Let me dream in the sleep of the evening breeze

Whispering softly your name into endearing music

Let me dream of the fantasy woven in my mind

You, lingering gently in the shadows of my heart

Let me dream of these feelings I never knew

In my dreams and in my heart

These dreams so true…

Yet so unreal…

Distant Heaven

(dedicated to all blindfolded angels caught in the senseless wars around the world)

The black wind clouded beneath the dark sky

Thunders bolting aimlessly on the ground

Screams of fear can cause the silence to die

Exaggeration is but an empty sound

She was one of the blindfolded angels

Running barefooted but nowhere to go

Her dry lips trembled with the clanging bells

Is heaven a mirage in this dark show?

Then she stared above trying to break free

Free from the hell of this bloody turmoil

Is there a chance that this heaven she’ll see?

Or die helplessly in this condemned soil

She closed her eyes as tears began to fall

If only she won’t open it again

And pray deep in her heart a longing call

To see, very soon, her distant heaven

Needing to come back to reality

She opened her closed eyes very slowly

Then at a blink something blasted on her

And everything started to be dimmer

Red sweat rolled over her innocent face

She smiled knowing that she had won her race

Should she open her eyes once again?

Yes, for her prize is her distant heaven

End of the Road

There are uncertainties in this world

And risks that we don’t want to take

Part of us wants to let go

And another wants to go on

Which path should we take to get there?

Or are we going to get there?

One thing is for sure, nothing is certain

All our visions are just distorted memories

Take the long road take the hard risk

Why should we find to just lose it?

The end of the road is where?

And the feeling of contentment is bare

Dark shadows can engulf and mock

Prolonging the agony of these loads

Finally we reached the end of the road

Just to find out, we want to go back

Advice

Run

Be free

Live it up

Reach your goal

Look ahead of you

Find your way into the crowd

Don’t let obstacle blind the truth

Let your star shine with a humble glow

And take your own path, the one you like the most

Heat of the Night

Evening falls and now it’s gone

Cooled in the candle of a burning light

Shadows embracing ever feeling the warmth

But never really caring

Frustrated dreams and broken promises

Steals through the dark

Tomorrow shall fade and forever shall die

But for now…

Just feel the heat of the night

A Star and a Grain

my personal fave...

A Star and a Grain

In this vast beach of a never-ending sand

The grain glanced above the scenic heaven

Trying to reach the sublime Milky Way

For there a star shines shimmers perfectly

Breathless as the star’s smile slowly unfolds

This sad grain, with tears, sat silently still

Crying with joy for the star’s happiness

Crying with fear for her own loneliness

Shedding tears for he’s a star; she’s a grain

The far heavens expand beyond her reach

Her star lies far beyond her eyes can see

Absurd for a grain to dream of a star

And lose her heart for a vain empty glee

Wishful thinking for a grain and star could meet

Amidst the horizon of truth and dream

He is a star and she is but a grain

Just this thought can bring a resounding pain

Portrait of Goodbye

Portrait of Goodbye

As the sun slowly descends from the sky

Gently as the moon unfolds its beauty

Listening to the music as it pass by

Gone with the beauty of serenity

Seeing the magic of the horizon

Leaving the world around us, you and me

Slowly, slipping away and all were gone

Dreams, love, you and the portrait of vanity

Knowing that you were gone with the cold night

Walking away, leaving me with my fright

The nature and the sky are in mourning too

With my life’s future that I will pursue

Goodbyes and cries and tears are all I see

Yesterday and the days ahead of me

Suddenly, fading from that open door

And washing away my rainbow’s color

So now the world around is queer

Looking back in those thousands happy years

Is the portrait of love that hangs in me

Washed away, vanished in the lonely sea

All of my memories shall pass me by

And all of the brilliance of the ocean’s lie

My pains shall melt before my very eyes

After all your sad portrait of goodbye

My Silent Muse

probably the best poem I have written in my life... :)

My Silent Muse

I am but a painter in this secret world

and you are my silent muse

Bare before me the beauty I cannot contain

and lured me heart in vain

I have given you this passion of my stroke

still you are the wind, me beloved

My candles burnt unused

so your face lit up but you know it not

You are my silent muse, my love!

my refuge in this hostile world

You are the jewel, gentle and sweet

set upon the heavens for my own pleasure

I have opened before you the velvet hue of my love

but you gazed outside it

My longing heart overflowed with tears

for my love is deep but you’ll never see it!

Deep and infinite it is as the sky

would try to reach the stars

You may never learn of its existence, my silent

but my heart is here to wait

Things I love

Things I love

Watch the sunset

Listen to the rushing waves

Feel the wind brushing my face

Imagine a long road without knowing where it’s leading

Feel the sweet love songs

Watch tall trees rising and reaching the sky

Lie down beneath the dimming open sky

Count the stars and sometimes talk to them

Sing a familiar tune without caring if I got it right

Listen and talk to my favorite people

Watch my favorite programs on TV

Scribble my emotions and laugh at its mushiness

Cook my heart out and be my own critic

Imagine scenes inside my mind

Doing things I enjoy doing most

Read a good piece

Talk sensibly and senselessly

Play with my furred friends

See other people happy

Listen to their laughters

Being me...

I love smiling,

… laughing,

… believing,

… dreaming

These are the things I love

And more…

back from hiatus....

it's been a long time...

i almost forgot the existence of this blog

what am i up to now?

nothing really...

just running after life...

why am i even running after it?

weird eh?

so many untitled useless bums

Things are getting harder each day…
Reading unfamiliar boring articles entitled UNTITLED
See? The obscurity of creating something and just named as such
A PIECE OF CRAP!!!
No matter how you humble yourself letting others know that you can WRITE
A piece of F#@$)^&(…..
Time has taught me that everything lay on trash!
Might as well “CHARGE IT TO EXPERIENCE”
Says the mighty goody-good berating himself of all the wrongs he did…
It just so sad why things just got bitter and bitter each day
As you tried to make something out of you while everyone is looking
But becoming a piece of s##t all by yourself
While staring at a flickering object of that great nothingness
Talking dumbheaded over things that can’t talk back??
Ha! Radical…radical…radical
Slap me if you must, and wake me amidst the tumultuous life in front of me!
But an honest mistake can never be repaired…
Past is past…
I’ve learned my lesson…
I met the real faces…
I’m angrily defeating life!!!
I’m angrily defeating the world!!!
…with this—
I found—
…peace
…solitude
…happiness
I FOUND MY WORLD!
… and my world found me…